Sermon Idea: Godly fathers who exemplify and pass down a sincere faith in the Lord Jesus Christ are a grace to their families.
Introduction: This morning, I want to talk about the grace that godly fathers are to their families. I hope to remind you that dads play an invaluable role in shaping and forming the spiritual health of their wives and children, as they exemplify and pass down a sincere faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I believe this is the positive vision the Bible gives us about husbands and fathers.
Unfortunately, the Bible’s positive and robust vision of fatherhood has not been common in contemporary culture. For decades, the portrayal of the typical dad on television has been poor. They don’t lead, show initiative, or do anything well. For television sitcoms, men are the joke.
When you consider this along with the broader culture’s negative perspective on masculinity, it is easy to see why some men might be discouraged and why some young men think so little of themselves.
I fear that if the church does not counter these negative narratives in the culture with biblical truth, men will start to believe that they are, in fact, incompetent, unnecessary, and problematic. Why lead when no one will follow? Why show initiative when you’re just going to do it wrong? Why teach your children if you don’t have anything to offer?
The Scriptures and substantial data from the social sciences tell us that present and involved fathers are vitally important. God calls and exhorts men to lead their families in following Jesus Christ.
Paul writes in Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Eph 6:4)
The church should be a place where men are valued, equipped, encouraged, affirmed, and celebrated. They should be prayed for as often as they are depended on. They should be expected to lead their families and encouraged to do so.
This morning will be a humble effort to do just that. Proverbs 4 gives us the image of wisdom being passed down from a father to a son. This chapter does not say everything that could and needs to be said about fatherhood, but it does give us enough to edify us this morning.
I want to make five observations from Proverbs 4 that can apply to fatherhood. I want us to observe the father’s presence, intentionality, tradition, wisdom, and warning.
I.) A godly father’s presence
Throughout this chapter, there is a command for the son to hear the words of the father.
Verse 1, “Hear, O Sons, a Father’s instruction…”
Verse 10, “Hear, my son, and accept my words.”
Verse 20, “My son, be attentive to my words.”
Of course, these are introductions to draw attention to the coming content of the father’s instructions. There is something more basic and obvious, but vital about them. The father is present with the son. His presence is not only in body, as if to merely be in the same vicinity, but he is attentive, caring, and affectionate. The possessive language “my son” conveys an embraced responsibility.
The presence of a father with his children is what makes knowing him possible and lays the relational foundation for passing down the faith. I was struck by how important presence is when reading the account of a famous climber named George Mallory.
He became famous for taking part in the first three British explorations of Mount Everest. He tragically died during the last exploration, leaving behind his wife and three children.
When asked why he wanted to climb Everest, Mallory said, “Because it is there.” What Mallory accomplished can be found in history books and appreciated by climbers to this day. What is interesting, though, is how one of his sons’ perspectives was quite different. Although not angry or bitter, Mallory’s oldest son was honest when he said, “I would so much rather have known my father than to have grown up in the shadow of a legend, a hero, as some people perceive him to be.” Zack Eswine sums up the power of this story well when he wrote, “The mountain was there, but so was John, George’s son.”
Brothers, what our children want most from us is our presence. There is no prestigious status you can reach, no profits you can gain, no pleasure you can seek that is more valuable than presence with your children.
Ambition is good, and you should have holy ambitions to succeed, advance, and accomplish great things. Men were not meant to stay home. We flourish by giving our lives to provide. but not to the expense of being present with our families.
The Scriptures are clear as to the importance of a father’s presence, but it is helpful to remember that research in the social sciences continually corroborates Scripture’s witness.
In a manual prepared for the United States Department of Health and Human Services, W. Bradford Wilcox, a professor of sociology at the University of Virginia, summarized his research as follows,
“One study of school-aged children found that children with good relationships with their fathers were less likely to experience depression, to exhibit disruptive behavior, or to lie, and more likely to exhibit pro-social behavior. This same study found that boys with involved fathers have fewer school behavior problems and that girls have stronger self-esteem. In addition, numerous studies have found that children who live with their fathers are more likely to have good physical and emotional health, to achieve academically, and to avoid drugs, violence, and delinquent behavior.”
Present and involved fathers are crucial for the physical, emotional, and mental well-being of children.
You don’t need the best job to be a present father. You don’t need the best education to be a present father. You don’t need to be cool or have the latest, greatest toys to be a present father.
As I reflect on my life, I can say this is what I appreciate most about my dad. He was not and is not an example of perfection, but he was faithfully present. There was not a school concert, play, event, graduation—not one—when I looked up and did not see Dad there.
II.) A godly father’s intentionality
Proverbs four not only teaches us that godly fathers are present, but that they steward that presence with intentionality. Listen to how the Father pursues the son with intentionality.
In verse 1, “a father’s instruction.”
In verse 10, “Hear, my son, my words.”
In verse 11, “I have taught you” and “I have led you.”
The image of the father in Proverbs takes heed of the teaching of Proverbs 22:6, Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Brothers, embrace the responsibility of teaching your children about the Lord with joy. Take it as your daily calling and commission as a father and follower of Jesus Christ. Why? We know we have something good to offer our children.
Look at verses 1-2 again, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts.
We are God’s chosen instruments to teach our children about what his good, beautiful, and true in a fallen world that is bad, distorted, and deceptive. We have good precepts to give to our children, precepts in God’s perfect and inerrant Word.
What is at stake if we don’t embrace the responsibility of being intentional with our children? If we don’t teach them, someone else will, and we won’t like what’s being taught. Social media, television, and friends are poor substitutes for the loving instruction of parents.
Brothers, let us lead the way in our homes in following Jesus. Let’s teach them the whole counsel of God’s Word and let our instruction be supported by a life faithfully lived in submission to Christ.
As we disciple and instruct them in the Lord, let them hear our prayers, see our confession and repentance, let them see sacrifice and love for their mother. Let them hear us talk about the importance of the church. Let them hear how we hope our neighbors come to Christ.
As we say all of this, we need to keep in mind that we can be faithfully present and intentionally teach, but we can’t make children listen or be attentive to what we say. We can’t make them accept instruction about what is good, beautiful, and true.
III.) A godly father’s tradition
As fathers who pass down the faith to our children, we desire to establish a tradition that will endure for generations long after us. Solomon reflects on the tradition that we received from his Father.
When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live. (Pr 4:3–4)
What I want you to see is that the tradition in which Solomon stands and which he passes on in Proverbs 4 is a vision of life beyond oneself. It is to live from something, or better yet, someone greater than ourselves.
The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight. Prize her highly, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her. 9 She will place on your head a graceful garland; she will bestow on you a beautiful crown.” (Pr 4:7–9)
Wisdom has a source, and God is that source. To encourage the pursuit of wisdom and insight is to encourage knowing God and living rightly before him. Solomon was urged not to forget David’s teaching because he offers wisdom from God, who is perfect.
In the same way, brothers, we must be men who love Christ and point beyond ourselves, Christ. In the New Testament, we learn that Jesus Christ is the wisdom of God. We will serve our children well if we demonstrate a joyful life dependent on Christ for all things. What we want is for our children to see Christ in us. Why?
Our children need our presence and time here and now, but only Christ can be present with them forever.
Our children need our protection and provision, but only Christ is the bread of life and living water.
Our children need our affection, play, and affirmation, but only in Christ can they become new creations.
The father’s tradition in Proverbs 4 is wisdom, which begins with the fear ot the Lord. In the New Testament, we learn that fear of the Lord comes through faith in Christ, whose substitutionary death on the cross, burial, and resurrection make it possible for us to be reconciled to God, be forgiven, and dwell with God forever in the new heavens and new earth.
Brothers, what a privilege. We get to teach our children the most important and grandest truths of the world. We do so for them, but also by grace, for the many lives that come after them.
IV.) A godly father’s wisdom
Part of teaching our children is not only what to pursue, but how to pursue it. You see, wisdom is not like a file you download on a computer. You can’t cant get wisdom once and have it forever. It is a way of life, a way of life in relation to God and others that his right. That type of life requires perseverance. Listen to how we are encouraged to pursue wisdom.
Do not forsake… (vs. 2)
Let your heart holdfast; Keep my commandments and live…” (vs. 4)
Do not forget, and do not turn away (vs. 5)
Keep hold, don’t let go, and guard her (vs. 13)
Let them not escape (v. 21)
Keep them within your heart (vs 21)
Keep your heart with all diligence (vs. 23)
The father tells the son to guard his heart every day, becasue when he stops guarding it, he will be vulnerable to temptation and sin.
Illustration: Solomon
4 For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father. (1 Ki 11:4)
Solomon was given wisdom from the Lord in his youth, but in his old age, he turned away and worshipped false gods. Wisdom is about becoming a particular type of person— a person who conformed to Jesus Christ.
It is our job, brothers, to ensure that our children care more about who they are becoming than what they are accomplishing.
V.) A godly father’s warning
Fathers also lovingly warn their children about the sinful life in which they live. The father directly tells the son, Do not walk in the way of the wicked.
Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil. (Pr 4:14)
The way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know over what they stumble. (Pr 4:19)
Life: The motivation and benefits of wisdom
keep my commandments, and live. (Pr 4:4)
For she is your life. (Proverbs 4:13)
Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. (Pr 4:23)
Brothers, we are to be present and intentional about our children’s discipleship because their lives are at stake.
Application
1.) We should pray and support dads who are giving their all to their families. They have enough negative voices in the culture that run them down and tell them what a problem they are. Wives, especially, should be the strongest affirmers, supporters, and prayer warriors. If your complaints and corrections far outweigh your encouragements and thankfulness, you’re not helping him flourish. Plants grow when showered with water, not gasoline.
2.) Develop a culture of support and discipleship.
Nathaniel R. Martin 