After four years of trying to have a child, my wife exited the bathroom with tears in her eyes. The crushing blow of a miscarriage accompanied our first sign that she could conceive. I remember crying, holding one another, grieving, and praying. What I also remember is still gathering with God’s people, attending our small group, and being vulnerable with the church about our situation. I remember they prayed for us, loved us, and provided support for us. Most of all, I remember gathering in the presence of God and his people to be reminded of the grace of the gospel and the true nature of Christian hope.
Like all of life, Mother’s Day is a mixture of joy and sorrow. Life in a fallen world does not let us enjoy the former too long before we must face the latter. To be sure, churches can handle this poorly by not acknowledging both realities. It is not loving to acknowledge the oldest mother or the one with the most children without also grieving with those waiting in a season of infertility or mothers grieving the loss of a child. Having said that, we don’t want to overreact and wrongly believe motherhood isn’t worth celebrating. We can and should do both.
The potential pain that Mother’s Day acknowledgments can bring may tempt some women to avoid their local church gatherings altogether. As this day approaches, I want to encourage these struggling sisters gently. I want to admonish those who may be tempted to avoid gathering with their local church to decide now that they will do so. Why should you commit to gathering despite the sorrow it may induce?
- Go to testify to the sufficiency of God’s grace. Gathering on this difficult day testifies to the church that the grace of God is sufficient for the Christian life, even in suffering. When Paul pleaded with God to take away his thorn in the flesh, God responded, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9). Coming to church in weakness directs people away from ourselves to the power of Christ that rests upon us.
- Go to display and receive love from your fellow members. Gathering with the local church allows us to obey God’s commands to love one another. We are told in Romans 12:15, Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” In Galatians, Paul encourages the church to “…do good to everyone, and especially to those who are in the household of faith.” It’s a glorious testimony to the gospel of Christ to watch a grieving woman celebrate the blessing of another sister in Christ. It is a glorious testimony to the gospel of Christ to watch a mother with reasons for joy choose to weep with a sister in waiting or grief. Jesus told us the world would know us by our love for one another, and Mother’s Day presents a unique opportunity to love as a testimony to the power of the gospel in our lives.
- Go to exemplify how the local church is central to Christian discipleship. The local church is God’s primary means for maturing disciples of Jesus Christ. Gathering with God’s people on the Lord’s Day is a command, and it is for our good (1 Cor. 11:17-22; Heb. 10:25). When a grieving woman gathers with God’s people, they exemplify an appropriate fear of the Lord born out of God’s loving grace to her. She exemplifies a belief that God’s commands to his people are good and that those commands are not optional based on how we feel at any given moment.
- Go to testify to the nature of Christian hope. Gathering with the local church testifies to the true nature of Christian hope. All of us will suffer and struggle in some capacity. The Christian’s hope is not centered on the best version of our life now but is centered on Christ, who has promised to return to judge the living and the dead. He has promised resurrection life, and eternal blessedness in his presence. He has promised to wipe away every tear from our eyes and that sin and death will one day be no more (Revelation 21:1-5). Committing to gather with the local church testifies that Christ is our only hope in life and death.
If you’re still waiting, grieving the loss of a child, or simply missing a dear mother whose long been with the Lord, sorrow will accompany your gathering with God’s people. It is because this is true that grieving sisters have all the more reason to gather with their church this Mother’s Day. Let us weep with you.
Nathaniel R. Martin 